Souhan's article in todays Star Tribune...

Jim Souhan, writer for the Star Tribune, wrote the following article about the White Sox. Classic.


Baseball Insider: Secret to Sox 'success'
Jim Souhan
September 14, 2004 INSI0914


DETROIT -- Last time the White Sox came to the Metrodome, they swept the Twins and took a two-game lead in the AL Central.

A few Twins told me privately after that series, "Just wait -- they'll fall apart."

They were right.

The second-to-last time the Sox came to the Metrodome, they took three of four from the Twins, and I praised Chicago as deeper, smarter and more versatile than their previous editions.

I was wrong.

For years, local baseball fans yearned for the Twins to again evoke the rattle and hum of a pennant race. For the past three years, the Twins have done their part, only to look around in mid-September and realize they were dancing by themselves.

So, for the third consecutive season, the Sox will spend much of September wondering what went wrong.

The White Sox would not have been able to attain this kind of consistency without a blueprint. Now the Star Tribune has those secret plans. We have clandestinely obtained intra-office memos from 333 West 35th St., on the South Side of Chicago. (Dan Rather was involved; that's all I'll say.)

Here's how the White Sox built yet another team fully capable of securing second place in the awesomely deep AL Central:

From the desk of Ken Williams.

Memo to self:

1. Get rid of Carl Everett. Why? Because if you don't, then you can't ...

2. Trade for Carl Everett. You dealt for him in 2003. You dealt for him in 2004. One of these years, it's got to work.

3. Get rid of Roberto Alomar. Why? Because if you don't, then you can't ...

4. Trade for Roberto Alomar. You traded for him in 2003. You traded for him in 2004. One of these years, it's got to work.

5. Acquire a pitcher whose belly is the approximate shape and consistency of a Big Mac.

In 2001, you signed David Wells, who will never do endorsements for the Abdominizer. In 2002, you signed Bartolo Colon, who has a better chance of doing endorsements for the Food Network than ESPN. In 2004, you traded Esteban Loiaza (great idea) for Jose Contreras (iffy idea), who lacks the sheer girth of Wells and Colon but fits the role of big ol' underachiever.

Check to see if Mickey Lolich is available.

6. Fire the manager. Until the Twins swept you in Chicago in late July, your team looked dangerous.

It has now become clear that you have the wrong personality type in the manager's office. Ozzie Guillen is too fiery, too close to his players, too emotional. It's obvious that you need someone with a more understated approach.

Is Jerry Manuel available?

7. If you're going to win a championship, you must emulate the franchise from New York, the one that makes splashy moves to win back-page tabloid headlines.

Don't do like the other big-money teams and emulate the Yankees. Think outside the box.

Copy the Mets.

Pursue big names who are past their prime. You've acquired Everett (twice), Alomar (twice), Freddy Garcia, Wells, Contreras...

Try to be even more like the Mets. Is Cliff Floyd available?

8. Help Frank Thomas maintain his status as the public focal point of the team.

He's one of the greatest hitters of his era -- and proof of how little one hitter (with the notable exception of Barry Bonds) can do for his team.

And how a selfish personality can disrupt, or at least distract, a clubhouse. I don't know if Frank's a bad guy, but an underachieving team doesn't need self-centered stars. (See: Kansas City and Juan Gonzalez.)

9. In a decisive September game, have one of your imports (Everett) tell the Twins' first baseman (Doug Mientkiewicz, last year) that "It's over." During the game. While leading off first base.

It's that kind of competitive spirit, that kind of confidence, that the White Sox have imbued in their players.

Don't worry about the future, White Sox fans. Players like Alomar and Everett can bring you four or five competitive months of baseball every year.